Monday, February 6, 2012

Signs A U.S. Politician Might be a Dominionist

By Becky Garrison
Originally posted 2/4/12 at American Atheist

We'll soon be posting Becky's full-length article, 'Deconstructing Dominionism,' from the latest issue of American Atheist magazine. To tide you over, here is a handy-dandy checklist to help you determine if your favorite politician might be a Dominionist.

* Anointed by God to run for public office, blames sagging poll numbers as an attack by “the enemy.”

* Labels global warming a myth, since Earth was already saved 2,000 years ago.

* Overcame power of darkness by leaving homeschooling to attend Patrick Henry College.

* Celebrates “Jesusween” on October 31 by dressing up in full Armor of God pajamas (a bargain at only $6.66).

* Calls the death penalty God’s mighty judgment against rebellious deceivers and false teachers who think it’s A-OK to murder sacred stem cells.

* Exhibits “love” for homosexuals “trapped” in a state of deception and doomed to be thrown into lake of fire.

* Wrangles invitation to tea party hosted by Fox & Friends.

* Hires A. Larry Ross Communications to pimp their product.

* Thinks Episcopalians are Commie homo-loving liberal atheists destined for eternal damnation.

* Prays to win the world through Christ and free market economic liberty.

* Says not to worry about caring for the planet cuz we’ll all be gone come October 21, 2011 … oh, uh, never mind.

* Proudly displays vintage Christian Coalition “Poor, Uneducated, Easy to Command” button, despite diploma from Liberty University.

* Prays away the Beatitudes from Matthew 5-7.

* “Refudiates” godless heathens and militant radical homosexual activists who “misunderestimate” their godly plan of action to restore America.

* When caught with pants down, claims interns were groped by God’s Right Hand.

* Talking about enacting God’s law into civil society makes him go all Santorum inside.

Becky Garrison is a panelist for The Washington Post's On Faith column and contributes to a range of outlets including The Guardian, The Revealer, American Atheist magazine and Religion Dispatches.. Her books include Jesus Died for This?: A Satirist's Search for the Risen Christ, Red and Blue God, Black and Blue Church, and Ancient Future Disciples: Meeting Jesus in Mission-Shaped Ministries.

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